Terolalaine
by EstiRose
Summary: There are things that Ziggy doesn't really want to discuss about himself, and stuff he doesn't want to admit he takes. Discussions of mpreg, but none occurs.
1. Chapter 1

_Hooo boy. Sometimes my brain wanders into some cracky territories. I really don't know how to label this, because it's not strictly "mpreg", because nobody gets pregnant. Possibility, yes. Happening, no. Please bear with me; right now, this is a one-shot, but it could turn into something more if my brain keeps going._

**Terolalaine**  
**by Estirose**  
**c 2011**

"Ranger Operator Series Green."

Ziggy was starting to hate those words, at least when they were strung together. Put together, they were a title he had taken on under duress and wished he hadn't. But there was nothing he could do about them; he just had to bear them and Doctor K. Maybe things would get easier after a while.

"Yeah?"

"This would be much easier if you paid attention. Your immunization records."

"Somewhere lost. I can safely say I have had my shots, though." Fresno Bob had taken care of that. Just not officially.

The computer voice sighed. "Medications you currently are on, or have been on?"

"That's been a long time, Doc." One medication was pretty routine and he wasn't too worried about it, and he'd been off of it anyway. The other one, well, he wasn't going to mention it because it made him feel like a freak.

"From my scans, it appears that you should be on Terolalaine," the voice said briskly, naming the medication in question. "Are you currently on it?"

"No," Ziggy had to admit. He should have been, but he wasn't. It was risky for him to be off of it, but just as risky for him to be on it. "I've just stuck to girls."

"As a Ranger, you cannot risk pregnancy. Ranger Operator Series Yellow is on birth control; you must be as well."

This was the part Ziggy always hated. He was in the .007% of the male population that could bear children. At some point in his life, he'd been on medication, but not since he'd come to work for Fresno Bob. He'd been careful on what he'd done in prison, to avoid getting pregnant with someone's child.

"Right." Just as long as nobody else knew, he could survive being on birth control medication. He didn't want to be a commodity, which would be what would happen if anybody else knew.

"I will start you on a prescription for it. Are there any other medications I should be aware of?"

"Sertraline," Ziggy told the screen. That one, he was willing to admit to, if reluctantly. "I'm also off that. Doc took me off."

"Very well," Doctor K said, not sounding convinced it was the case. "Then we shall start with the Terolalaine, and evaluate you periodically for the Sertraline."

Ziggy's relief was short-lived, however, as Doctor K returned to asking him about his medical history.

***

A day after that, Summer knocked on his door. "Come in," he said.

She closed the door behind her. "These got mixed up in mine," she said gently, handing him a set of pills with his name on them.

"Um. Thanks." He took them, because he needed them. Doctor K was right on that point. He refused to get pregnant. Hopefully she didn't know what they were.

"Birth control pills, right? You need help staying on schedule?" she asked. The question wasn't judgmental, just the tone of someone who could understand. Summer and the others weren't keen on him being on the team, but at least they were trying to be inclusive.

"I might," he admitted. "I don't really want to be... you know." He couldn't say it out loud, even in the privacy of his room. He didn't want someone overhearing.

"Yeah, neither do I," Summer said. "I never figured I'd run into... well..."

"A guy who can carry to term?" he asked slowly, sitting down on his bed.

"Yeah," Summer admitted, pulling his desk chair and sitting down in it.

"We're not exactly common," Ziggy told her. Uncommon to rare, really; a guy had about a one in fourteen thousand chance to have the right organs. It was some weird syndrome that made him female in some ways, a disorder that he didn't really like to talk about. But at least he could keep from being pregnant.

"Yeah, I know. Were you on birth control before?"

"Off and on," Ziggy confessed. "Not so much when I was with Fresno Bob. Especially after we came to Corinth." They'd started looking for guys like him then, guys who could get pregnant. In a world where everyone was getting asked to pitch in, suddenly guys like him were valuable, as childbearers to certain parts of the population. He'd have gone from potential cartel member to merchandise in a flash if Fresno Bob had known. "I didn't want to be... different."

"Nobody ever does," she said. "But I'll help you stay regular." She smiled at him.

"Yeah, I think Doctor K might be a little bit pissed off if I forget. I only sleep with girls, though." He looked at his pills. "I'm straight."

She patted his arm. "You still need to stay on birth control, though."

"Yeah." He doubted he'd need it on base, but if someone got their hands on him, it would be nice to seem like a normal guy. Or at least a normal guy who couldn't get pregnant.

"Don't worry. I'll remind you and you remind me." She smiled at him more. "I never thought I'd be doing this with a guy, but… well, at least I'm not the only one here on birth control."

Ziggy had to smile back at that. It didn't feel so bad, even as he knew how dangerous it was for him to be on the medication. If the cartels had inside hooks on the prescriptions like he'd overheard those two guys bragging, then they'd know he'd been hiding that from them. And he'd be their first target, being a Ranger and owing the Cartels a ton of money. He'd probably fetch a good enough price.

But he wasn't going to share that with Summer. He wanted her to think of him as normal has he could get her to. Sure, he couldn't fight or anything, but he could learn that, or at least he hoped before he got himself killed.

Plus, he didn't want the guys to think of him as any less a guy because he could have kids. Not that he was planning to. He liked the kids at the orphanage, but he just couldn't see having any of his own in the near future. And he wouldn't be the one pregnant anyway, because that would require him to sleep with a guy. And as he'd told Summer, he wasn't into guys.

"I'm glad for that," he said. It was kind of a relief, actually, to have someone who knew besides Doctor K. "Um, could you not tell the others? it's kind of embarrassing."

She patted him on the hand. "I won't, I promise."

He could live with her knowing. He relaxed, though, at the knowledge that the whole team wouldn't know about what he had.

"I… I know that you've spent some time in prison," Summer said, changing the subject. Maybe. "Were you on birth control then?"

"Nope. Didn't tell anybody. I just got really, really good at making sure nobody jumped my ass." He'd been careful to not let the prison doctors know about his extra internal organs.

She gave him a sympathetic smile. "Well, that's behind you now, and we'll just make sure we support each other. Okay?"

He smiled back. "Okay." It was very, very okay.

Maybe he would get things right, this time.


	2. Chapter 2

_Maybe not as much a one-shot as I thought._

**Terolalaine**  
**by Estirose**  
**part 2**

Ziggy kept his use of Terolalaine quiet, because really, it was nobody's business that he took it. Summer knew about it, but he didn't mind, because she really helped him make sure he kept regular on the medication. Which was good, because the first time he forgot, Doctor K was not really happy with him.

It wasn't surprising that Gemma was taking medication, too. He figured that Doctor K was on birth control meds, just as he and Summer were; why shouldn't Gemma be on them too? Yeah, he was the only one of the four that was a guy, but that really didn't matter to him.

In fact, it wasn't an issue until Gemma picked up his pills by accident and announced to the entire garage, "Wow, you're on Terolalaine?"

Summer was there, immediately admonishing her, but Ziggy was sure the damage was done. Most of the team had to have been within hearing distance, and even if they weren't, the whole thing would be all over the garage by evening. It sucked, sometimes, how close his team was.

Ziggy carefully avoided his whole team for the rest of the day until it was time to forage for dinner after training. He would have been happy to dig in the fridge for something and hide in his room, but Flynn caught him by surprise. "Er, I couldn't help but hear Gemma…."

He groaned inwardly, but just told Flynn, "It's not a big deal." Okay, it was, but he had to make it seem like it wasn't. "I'm on birth control. I have the organs. No biggie."

"Hafta admit," Flynn said, "Don't run across that too often 'round here. I suppose that I could have ended up with it myself. And if I'd had a sister, she could have been a carrier. My mom was."

Flynn's mom carried the gene. Well, at least he wasn't going to judge Ziggy for it.

"You must have a bit of Scot in you," Flynn said. "That's where you get a lot of men with it."

"Yeah, but that's not the only place it comes from." Maybe Scotland was a hotspot for what he had, but it was found all over the place, in all races.

"Maybe," Flynn said, "But you're either Scot or Irish, you've got the look." He looked at Ziggy.

"I… really have no clue," Ziggy said. He really didn't, not with what he didn't remember of his family. "All I know is that I've been off and on it since I was a teenager."

Flynn nodded, wisely saying nothing about Ziggy still being a teenager.

"So, you're sexually active, then?" Flynn asked.

Ziggy shook his head. "No, Doctor K would kill me if I didn't take it." She'd at least bitten his head off when he'd forgotten once, given him an entire lecture on how the fate of the human race depended on Corinth staying intact, and Corinth depended on the Rangers, and that if he didn't remember to take his meds, she'd find some way to inject them into him. Painfully. Every day.

Yeah, he remembered them every day after that.

"Oh." It was kind of funny that Flynn expected him to be on it for that reason.

"I'm not sexually active, I prefer girls, it's just… well, anybody who can carry to term in here has to be on something."

Flynn nodded. "Makes sense. Don't worry about it at all, Ziggy. Your internal organs don't make you who you are; you make you who you are."

He was glad that Flynn didn't ask about how he survived in prison. That would be an explanation in itself. At least the cartels seemed to have missed the fact that he was on the medication.

"After this is all over, you ever thought about talking about it?" Flynn asked. "You know, being a representative for people with it."

A shiver ran through him. "I wouldn't mind, but some people might get the idea I should be pregnant." He was talking about the cartels, but it could easily apply to the government of Corinth. They, too, would probably be happy to use him to suit their needs. "And I'm not interested in being a mother."

Ziggy wasn't as innocent as anyone thought; he knew how people would use others as soon as they found a way that they could keep out of trouble with it. Fresno Bob had crooked accountants when the world fell apart, and he'd picked up more when he'd settled in Corinth.

"You should probably talk to Doctor K and Scott about that," Flynn said. "Just so they know."

He really didn't want to, but Flynn had a point. If they were going to protect him, they had to know what was going on. And neither of them was stupid.

"I might," he hedged.

Flynn patted his arm. "Think about it, okay? You're no less a man for what you are."

Ziggy hoped that Scott felt the same way.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Author's note:**__ Thanks to everybody who's still following along! It's safe to say that nobody's getting pregnant in this story, so if you're looking for a traditional mpreg fic, I'm afraid you're out of luck._

**Terolalaine  
by Estirose  
c 2011**

_Part 3_**  
**

But he didn't approach either Scott or Doctor K. It wasn't something that he really wanted to discuss, because it was such a personal matter, and what could either of them do about it, anyway? The government of Corinth needed him as a soldier right now, and he was really careful not to come to the attention of the Cartels.

"Yeah, Dad was talking about the drug trade," Scott said, having a conversation with his original teammates. "I mean, since Corinth is domed, there's only so many places you can hide an operation, but still, they've got to be coming from somewhere."

Ziggy was well acquainted with the Corinth drug trade. He'd never participated in it - his speciality was pickpocketing and con games, and Benny had been trying to train him in extortion - but he was well aware of whose territory was whose, and who was doing what.

He was surprised that nobody had tried to pump the information out of him, but then again, nobody seemed to think he knew anything, and he liked to keep it that way.

That being said, he wouldn't mind lending Corinth's rulers a hand, even if he kept the hints small. "You're looking for the cartels," he said casually, walking over to where the others were discussing things. "They do everything illegal, you know? Drugs, extortion, robbery, scams, kidnapping and human trafficking. If it's illegal, they'll do it."

"So, why'd you join?" Flynn asked. It wasn't judging, though there was a bit of incredulity in there.

"They said that I could have a place, since I was so good at wallets." Pickpocketing was always his strong point. "And I wanted someplace to belong. If it got me rich, so much the better. I didn't realize until later what it really meant. And that they'd betray anybody, turn anybody into a commodity. Even their own, if they had to. It's kind of like why I wasn't on my meds for so long."

By now, the whole team knew what he was talking about. Even if Summer had managed to shush Gemma, he knew that they all knew. At least nobody had said anything - Summer had probably had a word with the Twins, and Dillon probably didn't care. And Scott would probably figure out how to deal with it.

"Because you can have kids?" Flynn asked, putting the pieces together.

Ziggy nodded. "There's about two or three hundred guys in this city with the same thing I have, and suddenly, we and our genes are valuable things." It was funny how something that was normally considered a disorder was now something of value. "And personally, I don't feel like being somebody's broodmare. For one thing, I'm a guy. For another, I'm not really built for giving birth, y'know?"

"Ranger Operator Series Green is correct," Doctor K said, joining the group. "I analyze many kinds of data relative to the well-being of this city, and I have noticed an unusual amount of kidnapped citizens with Alelian Disorder."

"Which is what Ziggy here has." Flynn gave a nod.

"Correct. Those with Alelian Disorder develop both male and female sexual characteristics, including the vaginal opening, though they do not develop the amount of breast tissue females do, and their pelvic area is more male than female, causing problems with delivery of their infants. They are also the only humans with covert menstruation. Such individuals are generally assigned a male gender at birth and consider themselves male."

"Yeah, definitely guy here," Ziggy said, raising his hand. "Not planning to be a mother, thank you very much!"

"Technically speaking, you are both male and female," Doctor K said. "However, to make speaking about you easier, I will refer to you with a male pronoun."

"So, Ziggy here is intersex," Scott said. He looked at Ziggy, obviously struggling to recall what he'd heard about people with Alelian Disorder. Of course, Ziggy knew that most people didn't call it that, just "the pregnant male disorder". He was impressed that Scott knew the right term.

"Yeah, but I'd really like it if you called me a guy." Even if Scott knew, repeating things wouldn't hurt. "I've always been one."

Scott nodded. Probably was easier on everyone to keep thinking of him as a guy. It was definitely easier for him. "Anything we should be aware of about this?"

He was sure Scott meant complications. "Let's just say that if the Scorpion Cartel ever found out I had Alelian Disorder, I'd be priority number one for kidnapping. And no way would I have access to my Terolalaine."

Even Doctor K looked disturbed at that, walking away muttering something.

He didn't want to shock the others with what he knew of what would happen to him if he got outed and caught.

"We'll keep an eye on you," Scott promised. "There's no way one of my team will be kidnapped."

"Yeah, I'd kind of like to avoid being pregnant," Ziggy said, relieved. His teammates might have had issues with how he got on the team, but those issues were long past, and they would be there for him.

Maybe he had nothing to worry about.

Of course, Fresno Bob wasn't stupid, and neither were the other Cartel members, and Ziggy was definitely a prize. As a Ranger, he could probably live through things that other people couldn't, even unmorphed. Or at least that's how they'd sell him; if he died in childbirth, they'd probably be happy.

The buyer might not be, but they would.

"And I'm sure Doctor K will do everything she can to help," Summer said, putting a hand on his arm. "You should let Dillon know, okay?"

"That's right, he should be in on this discussion." Flynn got up. "I think he's working on the Fury; I'll bring him over right away."

Ziggy tensed for a moment, then forced himself to relax. Dillon had seen him at his worst; hopefully this new development wouldn't freak him out.

"I'm not really keen on the government knowing, you know," Ziggy said, to pass the time while Flynn got Dillon, "But I think they'd be able to realize that I'd be far more valuable spreading my genes the, um, male way." The government, being the military, had to be aware that he was on Terolalaine. After all, his prescriptions were from the military pharmacy.

"Don't worry, Ziggy," Summer said with a smile. "No matter what, we're teammates, and if they mess with you… they mess with all of us."

Dillon came over with Flynn, and Ziggy could see his irritation with being interrupted by a team meeting. More or less; the Twins were doing something in Doctor K's lab and probably didn't care if they couldn't blow it up.

"So, what's going on?" Dillon asked.

"Let me explain, Ziggy," Summer said. She explained the whole thing to Dillon, the medication, the Cartels, what Ziggy was. Dillon was looking at both of them like Summer was telling him something totally unbelievable. Or at least Ziggy thought so.

"So… Ziggy can give birth because he's kind of a girl." Dillon was looking from Summer to Ziggy.

"Guy, thank you very much. And straight." Might as well get that part cleared up fast. "And not having kids that way, either."

Dillon ignored him. "And the Cartels, even though they should know better, might grab him because he can have those kids."

Well, at least Dillon was using the right pronoun. Ziggy waited for his teammate to run the whole thing through his head.

"We'd like you to help keep an eye on Ziggy, just in case," Scott told him.

After a moment, Dillon said, "I'm going to do more than that." He looked at Ziggy. "You now have a boyfriend."

Ziggy was glad he wasn't the only one looking at Dillon as if he'd gone insane.


	4. Chapter 4

_Note: I really want to say thanks to everyone for, well, bearing with me and this fic! (Yeah, sorry for the pun.) I had a fun time figuring out how I could get it as realistic as possible, and also had a fun time researching intersex conditions, as well as trying to figure how that would affect gender identity and sexual orientation, especially in a post-apocalyptic world._

_Looks like this is the last part of "Terolalaine", and I kind of don't anticipate writing a sequel. (Of course, I didn't expect it to be four parts, either.) There's some other stuff I'd like to work on/finish now, one of which I'm picking up after five years of leaving it a WIP. (...Oops.)_

**Terolalaine**  
**by Estirose**  
**c 2010**

_part 4_

"You're not my boyfriend," Ziggy said, once he'd had a moment to get himself together. He wanted to tear off, because he did so not want to deal with this right now, but he didn't. Dillon and the others needed to hear why. "The last thing I need is a boyfriend."

"Why?" Dillon asked. "I'd think they'd think twice about grabbing someone who has someone to protect him."

"Yeah. And you can protect me just as well by being my teammate." Ziggy took a deep breath. It was flattering to have people to protect him, especially someone tall and broad like Dillon. The him that had been in the cartel would have been glad for a friend like that, for protection purposes. Benny had been kind of that way, but he wasn't as imposing as Dillon.

But Ziggy wasn't a minor, would-be Cartel member any more, and he'd like to think that he had a clue about defending himself now. And even if he couldn't, at the moment he had six teammates and Doctor K, who had proved that she wasn't exactly someone to piss off either. He was sure that the high up illegal elements of Corinth were likely to give Doctor K a really wide berth after that demonstration of her underwear gun.

"Drop it, Dillon," Scott said. It was rare that he had to intervene in something that could be considered an argument between them, but Ziggy was glad for the reprieve. "If Ziggy doesn't want a boyfriend, then you should respect that."

Dillon glared at Scott, and then looked at Ziggy as if expecting him to change his mind. Which was so not happening. To be honest, Ziggy should have said it himself, but it was good that one of the others had been there. Dillon tended to fold, he noticed, when more than one teammate applied the pressure.

Admittedly, he was more likely to listen to Summer or Flynn over Scott, but Ziggy was still glad for Scott's gesture. It was nice to have everyone accept him for who he was, or at least accept that he was a guy. No matter what organs he had.

"So, why shouldn't I be?" Dillon asked. Ziggy had never asked if Dillon was straight or not; it wasn't like it was his business. He had to wonder if his teammate was in love with him and just had never thought to say anything.

"Because I don't want to be stereotyped." He thought of how easy it would be to slide into that stereotype, and shuddered. "I want to be me. I don't want people to assume I prefer guys just because I can get pregnant."

It tended to confuse people, he noticed. He'd been brought up as a guy, but somewhere in there, there was a cultural thing that if you had a womb, you wanted to have kids, therefore you hooked up with someone who could give you kids. Never mind that he'd met more than a few girls that would rather burn out their fallopian tubes than be mothers. He wasn't childfree like those girls were, he wanted kids, he was just not going to be the one having them unless there was absolutely no choice.

"I'm not interested in you having my kids, I'm interested in you being safe." Dillon folded his arms, and Ziggy had to wonder if Dillon was gay and was interested in dating him. And had just never brought it up before now.

"You know what? So am I. But you also know what? I've got seven people living here who would likely rip the Cartels apart if they tried anything stupid like that." It was funny, having everyone know that he was taking birth control, because he'd felt like it made him vulnerable and a freak. But now that everyone knew, they could better defend him. Better make up for his weaknesses.

It still didn't give Dillon the right to declare he was dating Ziggy.

"What are we-"

"Missing?"

Gem and Gemma joined them, seemingly done with their meeting.

"Let me ask you a question." He looked at them. "If someone was to kidnap me because, you know, I could have kids, would you get me back?"

"Would it-" Gem started

"Involve explosives?" Gemma finished, a smile on her and her brother's faces.

"Um. However you like." He hoped that said explosives would be a diversion. Or that they'd rescue him even if it didn't. "I'd kind of hope that you'd rescue me regardless, though."

The twins looked a little disappointed, but Gem spoke up. "Of course. We're-"

"Teammates, of course!" Gemma said.

"See?" Ziggy asked, motioning at them. Even the twins would rescue him, if it came down to it.

Dillon glared at him instead and walked off.

"That could have gone better," Flynn observed.

"Yeah." Ziggy watched Dillon return to working on the Fury, thought of the times they'd spent together. He really did want Dillon to be there if he needed rescuing. He just didn't need a boyfriend.

Doctor K's voice over the intercom interrupted his thoughts. "Ranger Operator Series Green, please report to the training room."

Taking one last glance at Dillon, he headed in that direction. Best to keep on Doctor K's good side.

Later on that evening, he went to talk to Dillon. Doctor K had deigned to tell him that Dillon was hanging out on the roof, which was okay, because it was reasonably quiet given it was a roof. It wasn't the most private place in the world, but it was a place where he felt comfortable discussing things.

"Hey," he said, settling down besides his friend.

"I thought you didn't want to be considered my boyfriend." Dillon's irritated tone was mixed with some amusement. Or so Ziggy thought.

"What's wrong with hanging out on the roof with a friend?" Ziggy asked lightly. "'Cause that's what you are to me." Time to get into the heavy stuff later, when he had felt out Dillon's mood. "Well, that and a teammate, too."

"What if I did want to have a relationship with you?" Dillon asked suddenly.

"That would be kind of hard," Ziggy said, "'Cause I'm not interested, but I'm flattered that you'd want to date me." If he hadn't been straight, he would have chosen Dillon in a heartbeat. Despite Dillon's broodiness, he was someone that Ziggy liked to be around.

Dillon being able to protect him, even though he didn't need it as much anymore, was probably part of it.

"Are you saying that to be nice?" Dillon asked. "Because if you are, I don't want to hear it."

"Nah," Ziggy said. "I wouldn't mind dating you, but kind of not into guys, you know?"

"Yeah. Well. I'm not interested in having kids with you, I just like you."

"Thanks." There wasn't anything he could really say to that. He and Dillon were two of a kind on that team, him being intersex and Dillon being a hybrid. Both freaks in their own ways. Both with one foot in one world and one foot in another.

"I'm serious about the dating thing." Dillon didn't look up, but he didn't need to.

"Yeah. Well." There was nothing he could do about that, and he wasn't going to start dating just to make Dillon feel better. It was strange, having to fight the perception that he was supposed to be into guys where everyone else of his apparent gender was assumed to be after girls. "Can't do anything about that."

At least things weren't so bad. For what he was, he had a hell of a support network, including a brilliant scientist who was now working on a way to make sure he'd be covered even if he was captured or kidnapped. It was what Doctor K had called him in for after Dillon had taken off.

"Let me know if you change your mind." Dillon's tone was gruff, but the offer was genuine. At least he wasn't being insistent about it, but Ziggy guessed he'd had time to cool off since they'd talked.

"Will do." Ziggy looked at the simulated stars. He never would, but he wasn't going to say that. Dillon had it pretty much figured out anyway. And they were still friends.

To Ziggy, that was all that mattered.

-end


End file.
